Why Nutrition and Exercise Are Powerful (and Underrated) Tools for Coping With Grief
- Ryan Toney
- Jun 12
- 9 min read
Grief strips everything away — routine, energy, even appetite. When I lost my wife to cancer, I quickly realized that healing wasn’t going to come from just “waiting it out.” It came through daily choices: nourishing my body even when I had no appetite, moving gently when everything felt heavy, and slowly creating structure in the chaos.
This blog isn’t about silver linings or overnight fixes. It’s about how nutrition and movement became the quiet anchors that helped me through the darkest season of my life. And if you’re here, navigating your own grief — know that you’re not alone. There are tools that can help when it comes to coping with grief, and I’m so happy to share what I’ve learned.
From Personal Loss to Purpose: Grief is Physical, Too – Not Just Emotional
What many people don’t realize is that grief is a whole-body experience, not just a psychological one. Studies have shown that profound loss can weaken your immune system, increase inflammation, and even mimic symptoms of chronic illness. This is why prioritizing your physical well-being isn’t a luxury — it’s a lifeline.
I didn’t know any of this when María was first diagnosed — I just knew something felt off. After she passed, I struggled to remember simple things, like where I put my phone, keys, if I fed our dogs or whether I’d eaten. My apartment was filled with sticky-notes and alarms to remind me of basic things for months! I’d lose my train of thought mid-sentence. I felt irritable and exhausted, even when I wasn’t “doing” much. And honestly, that still happens. It’s something I’m learning to live with — gently, patiently, and without shame.
Turns out, there’s a name for that fog: survival mode. Grief sends your body into a constant state of fight-or-flight. And when your nervous system is overwhelmed, your brain starts conserving energy — not on purpose, just as a way to cope.
If you’ve noticed that you’re more forgetful, irritable, or tired than usual — I get it. I’ve been there. I’m still there some days. You’re not broken, and you’re not failing. Your body is simply trying to protect you. And with the right tools — movement, nourishment, support, and faith — healing becomes possible.
Why Eating Matters More Than You Think When You’re Grieving
When you’re grieving, even eating can feel like a chore. I almost never had enough energy to stand long enough to make a proper meal –– all I wanted to do was lay down. For weeks after María passed, I had no appetite and absolutely no energy. Food lost its flavor. Meals felt like meaningless tasks. I’d open the fridge, stare at it, then close it again.
Sound familiar?
But here’s the thing — your body still needs nourishment, especially in grief. In fact, grief depletes your body’s reserves: it impacts your digestion, energy levels, and ability to regulate blood sugar and stress hormones. Food isn’t just fuel — it’s support. It’s stability.
What helped me:
At times I needed to meal prep just so I could avoid cooking everyday.
Quick snacks or nutrient dense drinks like smoothies with banana, protein, and peanut butter — easy and drinkable.
Pre-cut fruit, soups, or anything I could heat and eat without effort.
You don’t have to eat “perfectly.” You just need consistency. Grief makes everything feel unpredictable — so food can become one of your anchors.
A small meal eaten mindfully is more healing than skipping meals entirely. It's not about quantity –– it's about care.
If you’re struggling to eat right now, start small. A few crackers. A smoothie. A hot drink. Give your body something kind — even when your heart is aching.
The Healing Power of Movement–Even Gentle Ones Count
You’re probably thinking, “I don’t even have the energy to get out of bed in the mornings. How am I supposed to move my body?”
I get it. Truly.
After María passed, I had days where eating something felt like an achievement. Exercise? That wasn’t even on my mind! But I started with one small thing — a short walk. No pressure. No expectations. Just movement that met me where I was.
And here’s what I learned: movement didn’t take my pain away, but it helped me carry it.
Movement, even the smallest kind, isn’t about fitness goals when you’re grieving. It’s about helping your body release what it’s holding. Studies show that gentle physical activity like walking, stretching, or slow yoga can lower cortisol, reduce anxiety, and improve cognitive clarity — all things that grief tends to steal!
How Employers Can Support Grieving Employees (Without Overstepping)
You’re not expected to have all the answers — but presence, empathy, and flexibility go further than you think.
In the workplace, grief can be invisible. An employee may be sitting at their desk, meeting deadlines, even smiling — and still carrying an enormous weight. Supporting grieving team members doesn’t require grand gestures. It starts with recognizing that grief shows up differently for everyone — and giving people space to navigate it in their own time and way.
Simple ways employers can offer real support:
Flexible schedules: Allow space for therapy, rest, or family time without penalizing performance.
Private check-ins: A genuine “I’m here if you need anything” can go a long way — especially if it comes without pressure to share.
Wellness resources: Offer access to counseling, grief support, or wellness coaching that integrates nutrition, stress management, and movement.
Lead by example: When leadership models emotional intelligence and self-care, it empowers your team to do the same.
You don’t have to “fix” anything. Just show up with compassion, consistency, and trust. Creating a culture that makes space for grief — without micromanaging or overstepping — builds loyalty, safety, and long-term retention.
Coping Through Grief–One Small Step at a Time
Have you ever heard of the 7 stages of grief?
I learned the hard way — they don’t go in order.
You bounce around. One day you’re doing okay, the next you’re back in a stage you thought you already worked through. Denial, anger, sadness, acceptance — they don’t follow a timeline. And that’s normal.
I used to think I was doing something wrong when I didn’t feel “better” yet. But the truth is, grief isn’t linear. And healing doesn’t follow a script.
What helped me most was focusing on one small step at a time. Nothing huge. Just something simple I could do that day to show up for myself — even if I didn’t feel like it.
So do yourself a favor and show up for yourself! You deserve it!
Leaning on Faith: The Role of God in My Healing
Grief can make the world feel small, dark, and heavy. For me, what carried me through — more than anything else — was my faith.
In the quiet moments, when movement wasn’t enough and meals felt like rituals rather than nourishment, I leaned on God. Not just as a source of comfort, but as a constant in the chaos. Christ was — and still is — my foundation, my strength, and my reminder that pain is never wasted.
I’ve cried out to Him on mountaintops, in hospital parking lots, and on my apartment floor. Over and over again, He met me there — not with instant relief, but with presence. With peace that didn’t make sense. With rest I didn’t know I needed. And with strength I didn’t think I had.
Every Sunday, I light a candle for Maria at church. When I travel, I light one for her in cathedrals and chapels around the world. It’s my quiet way of remembering her — and thanking God for the love we shared. And it reminds me: He’s still here. So is she.
And when the anxiety hits, when the sadness rises like a wave, I give it to Him. All of it. My pain, my questions, my exhaustion — He takes it. Every time. And in return, He gives me exactly what I need to keep going. Sometimes it’s peace. Sometimes it’s clarity. Sometimes it’s just the courage to face the next day.
I find rest in the house of God. I find peace when I sing worship music. I find joy in Him — and in the beautiful community He’s surrounded me with here in Norway. Regardless of the outcome of Maria’s battle, God was, is, and will always be good, true, and faithful. And I’m grateful to use my life experience to help the next person in any way I can.
I know not everyone shares the same beliefs. But I can’t talk about healing without sharing the truth: my relationship with Christ gave me the courage to keep showing up. It gave purpose to the pain, direction to my mission, and ultimately led me to help others heal through RTFN.
If you’re in the depths of grief right now, I encourage you to reach for something greater — whatever that looks like for you. Healing isn’t just physical or emotional — it’s deeply spiritual, too.
Scriptures that have helped me along the way:
Psalm 34:18
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit"
Isaiah 41:10
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Matthew 11:28
"Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and i will give you rest."
Coach's Corner with Ryan
Grief, Purpose, and the Power of Wellness
Grief doesn’t ask permission — it just shows up. But so can healing.
Losing María changed everything. It shattered the future I thought I had and forced me to rebuild my life from the ground up. Along the way, I discovered that movement and nutrition weren’t just good habits — they were survival tools.
María's journey is the reason I pursued my master’s in dietetics and nutrition, became a certified coach, and started RTFN. I wanted to help others find strength in the small, daily decisions — especially when life feels anything but strong.
If you’re reading this through tears or fatigue or numbness, I want you to hear this: you’re not broken — you’re grieving. And I see you.
Additionally, Christ didn’t just help me carry the pain — He transformed it. Through every wave of grief, He gave me peace that didn’t make sense, strength I didn’t think I had, and healing I didn’t know was possible. My journey into nutrition, fitness, and service started with heartbreak — but it was Christ who rebuilt the foundation. That’s why I’m here. And that’s why I believe in the healing power of both movement… and faith.
Ready to Start Healing?
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— Ryan
Athlete, Certified Nutrition Coach, Personal Trainer Corporate Wellness Strategist | Founder, RTFN
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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Q: Why is it so hard to eat after losing someone?
A: Grief often shuts down appetite and digestion. It’s part of your body’s survival mode. Even if food doesn’t sound good, nourishing your body can help stabilize your mood and energy.
Q: Is it normal to feel exhausted all the time while grieving?
A: Yes. Grief is physically draining. Fatigue, brain fog, and sleep disruptions are common. Your nervous system is overloaded, which affects energy and memory.
Q: What are simple ways to support my health while grieving?
A: Focus on small, consistent steps. Try light movement (like walks), gentle meals, hydration, and supportive routines. You don’t need perfection — just care.
Q: Can nutrition or exercise really help with grief?
A: Absolutely. Movement and nourishing meals won’t erase grief, but they help regulate stress, balance hormones, and bring back a sense of control and comfort.
Q: What if I don’t have the energy to cook or work out?
A: You’re not alone. Start with what feels possible: a short walk, a smoothie, a stretch. Healing happens in tiny moments. It’s not about doing more — it’s about honoring your body’s pace.
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